Who is the best 1970’s television role model? FINAL ROUND!

January 18, 2010

Who is the best 1970’s television role model?

Round Three was a hard fought brawl between two icons of justice, Barnaby Jones and Abe Vigoda. Despite heavy Geritol use and accusations of Viagra-juicing, the clear winner was Fish, setting up our

FINAL ROUND
THREE-WAY
WINNER-TAKE-ALL
BRAWL-FOR-IT -ALL:
Esther Rolle        Vs.     “The Man”        Vs. The Fish                               
“panties”                 “Which way to the Wonka-crapper?”    First GQ cover

Before declaring a winner, let’s take a final look at our contestants.

I’m not sure what is going on in this picture, but JJ sure looks uncomfortable. Any minute I expect Chris Hansen to walk out of Thelma’s bedroom and offer some lemonade.

Here we see Jack “The Man” Albertson in a scene from the 1977 made-for TV movie, “Not Without my Psoriasis,” which exposed the then-little known danger of moles and skin lesions.

For decades, Abe Vigoda has been plagued by rumors of his death. These rumors began in 1978, when he actually died, and later came back as a mummy.

Here we see him attending his own funeral:

Before we reveal the winner, what does the Best 1970’s TV Role Model win? This fabulous trophy!

No, not those fabulous trophies, this fabulous trophy:

Before we reveal the winner, let’s take a look at two men who almost made the finals.

 QUINCY, M.E.

Quincy was ruled ineligible when it was discovered that he used performance enhancing drugs and lied to Congress during the MLB steroid inquiry.

 FRED MERTZ

Despite having died in 1966, we wanted to include him for the memorable TVLand commercial that featured his pants.

 Yes, his pants.

AND THE WINNER IS:

 WHITMAN MAYO!

Whitman Mayo?

Yes, Whitman Mayo.
Whitman Mayo: Sanford and Son’s Grady.
Whitman Mayo:  Diff’rent Strokes mean Uncle Jethro, who tried to take Willis and Arnold away from Mr. Whitey, er, I mean Drummund.
Whitman Mayo: Star of …

 Crash Corrigan Meets The Kelp Men

This serial is also notable as the first clothed appearance of porn star Monte Blue.

In this serial, Whitman Mayo spent 13 spine-tingling chapters evading this tin can robot:

Eventually, Whitman Mayo defeated the robots with a device that looked suspiciously like a cross between a fishing pole and a view master. In Chapter Eleven, Flaming Death, Mayo cemented his status as the Best TV Role Model of the 1970’s when he first uttered the immortal words that would become his catchphrase, “Great Googly Moogly!”

That locution, that seedy beard, that eerie resemblance to Wally “Famous” Amos, truly, the Best TV Role Model of the 1970’s!

One can only wonder what would happen if he were pitted against the Best TV Role Model of the 1980’s…..

NOT COMING SOON:

Who Has The Best TV Mustache?